🎵
He was a boy, she was a girl
Can I make it any more obvious?
He stole a van, she stole a car
They wouldn’t get far
He drove to fast, she did as well
Now they’re both rotting in a cell
Porn Directors:
Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Oregon, where we lay our scene…
But soft, what grill through yonder windshield breaks?
It is a car, and Juliet’s at the wheel.
this summer
“Are you ok?”
love is a story
“Were you even paying attention?!!”
of two souls
“It was brand new ffs!!”
colliding on their journey
“Oh just great, how the hell do I explain this to the insurance company? Let alone my parents!”
to their destinations
“EYES ON THE ROAD OR UP HERE ASSHOLE!!”
get ready for
My summer crash
You got your grand theft auto in my grand theft larceny!
No! You got your grand theft larceny in my grand theft auto!
I’ve got a rule I always tell people. Never commit a misdemeanor when commiting a felony. (Doesn’t have to be a misdimeanor but the point is, if you’re driving a stolen car, don’t run a red light)
Someone said ‘drive it like you stole it’ should mean going just under the speed limit and signaling all turns.
Yeah. It’s just common sense and good judgement. Which, strangely, is somewhat lacking in the majority of criminals who get caught.
I am amazed this is actually real
What are the odds. Pretty cool.
[off topic]
Crooks, a Novel About Crime And Family.
A minor Mafioso sees a woman stealing out of her boss’s cash register. They end up married with a flock of kids.
Fun novel with lots of crazy twists and turns. And a disco!
She looks too put together for this to be a mug shot.
Dress for the job you want, not the one you have. That’s why I always wear a spacesuit to the office.
They make a nice couple.
that’s what ‘i love boosters’ should have been about. it should have been an homage to ‘you’ve got mail’ and ‘shop around the corner.’
the plot would center on two individuals who boost kias. in real life they’re rivals because they often try and target the same car, but on social media they constantly agree with each other and upvote each others posts.
they could form a union before they even realize this fact and it’s figured out when they both snoop on each others phone and check their socials.
there’s so much room in this plot for parody, satire and social commentary.
Game recognizes game
They are going to drive the “meet cute” genera until the wheels come off.
She can fix me
Oregano in 60 seconds
Did they confirm both cars were actually stolen, and not just that ALPRs had fucked up and reported the played wrong?
Well, the guy was leading the police on a chase, so it’s probably true for that.
And she was intoxicated and they only investigated after the crash, so probably true there too.
