Gotta get some work done until 2AM ET. Sorry for the flurry of updates. Gonna listen to Rush, Wobbler, Happy the Man, and some other Prog while I work. Thanks again for the support!

Few notes: please ignore the ALARMING temperature readout. It can do C and F. But there is no probe attached. All it can accurately do right now is barometric pressure, time, and date. Opening the back of the display panel was fascinating. It was apparently serviced on 13th of May, 1993 by Heathkit. Silkscreen on PCB says 1978 which seems accurate for the kit. They stopped selling kits in 1992, but apparently carried on servicing kits for a while longer. Just a fun observation in the midst of my personal chaos.

Here is the computer, by the way. Hope everything uploads OK. All digits working. CPU and display board stock and working. Going to trace the two mystery red/black wires with my VOM tomorrow. Assuming they’re a redundant back up to the power supply which will truly be made redundant with the CPU upgrade I have planned.

You are far too kind A_be_seedy. My dad was the most supportive person in the world. One moment, it was ‘Oh that’s cool, I always tell my friends I have two sons, but I’ll tell them otherwise now nbd’. It’s… weird. I’ve always felt closer to my mom. But in that moment, my dad and I were on the same wavelength. One moment, talking about my trans identity, the next talking about the Heathkit computer like it was nothing. It really sounds like you get it. Genuinely. I appreciate it and ypur praise means the world.

My mom is, despite how I’ve always viewed her, a ‘mama bear’ for sure. I’m 36, I’ll admit that. Seems odd at this age. But I guess it never stops being a thing. She said she’d call tomorrow. I offered to answer any questions she had, and I happily will. Still feels weird, almost wrong, but your praise, the support of my friends, my brother, and my father… it’s almost overwhelming. Hopefully tomorrow I can smooth things out with her. She deserves it, and I hope I can calm her fears.

I told my parents today. I don’t know if it was a good idea. Not entirely. I think they’re both accepting. My dad was basically just like ‘lol OK how are your projects going’. My mom was… well not unaccepting. But just… she was surprised. I’ve always been cagey about my personal life with my parents. I told my brother and other friends this weekend. My dad today. Then I told my mom, I felt bad she was the last person to know. She was the weirdest about it, but she had no idea. I basically blindsided her. I don’t like this.

Well thank you very much! That means a lot to me and it’s really nice to just have people listen! I’ve been thinking about it, honestly he hasn’t been a ‘friend’ in a while. I think I’m just tired of not actually being happy being myself, so in a way, if I could tell this guy about it I can tell anyone. It was more subconscious, I think… And my parents, I think they’d actually be understanding! They’re good and accepting people. It’s more that I don’t really exactly know how to, and I think to them it would be a big surprise, even if I’ve felt this way for a long time (only recently really come to understand it as the truth). I am old-ish, and in a way I’m a little concerned that since I never explicitly showed any outwards interest/need in transitioning prior that they might think that I’m doing something strange? Not really sure how to word it, sorry.

I will! Thank you for the encouragement, and I am just glad I have a place to talk about all this!

Strange… It’s been good so far, generally. Going to a friend’s lake house next weekend. Looking forward to that! Also, finally made a Meetup account and my plans for getting my modern anemometer/windvane to ESP32 to ESP32 to Heathkit ID-4001 setup sketched out a bit more. With the CPU upgrade board, it might even have a serial output, and I could theoretically have my computer read it. That would be awesome!

Then, I had my oldest “friend” contact me out of the blue on Discord and then he called me. I got hit with a tirade of insane anti-Semitic nonsense. At some point, the fact that I’m going to try and transition MtF slipped out and he got really “worried” about me. He said these things “never end well” and that “you always hear about these things online, but it’s really scary when it happens to someone you know” and that he was worried about that when he saw my Discord pfp (my character, female). I’m pretty meek/timid, but I did tell him firmly that “I don’t want to talk about this with you”, and he responded with “It’s OK, we don’t have to talk about this right now”. Right now. Like we will have to eventually. Then a bunch of stuff about how he doesn’t want me to be a “blood sacrifice to Moloch” and that “we’re the lowest-T generation, and bombarded with all sorts of media” stuff like that. Freaky nonsense.

It’s… really upsetting. I’ve known this guy for decades. I just feel… betrayed. Scared. I threw up after the call. He wants to call again and even hang out. I definitely don’t want to. I shouldn’t have told him about my plans to transition. I don’t know why I did. I’ve told my brother, my closest (actually good, ally) friend, but not even my parents yet. So I have no idea how I let it slip to this crazy old friend. That happened about an hour ago. Still pretty shaken up about it.

Also, should note, I have never played Commander? I’ve got a ton of junk cards from my high school days long ago, so I’ll try to make them work. My friend just bought a new house so we have a cool place to hang out. Also he has a Tappan microwave from the 1970s he’ll give me if it works! It’ll be huge and really be terrible compared to even mine but it would be so neat to try to integrate into my life if it’s at least functional (and, of course, safe).

Not horrible! So I have been interested in HRT for a while and talked to my therapist about it. I kinda know a path forward with my doctor, which seems doable… I think? In silly news, got my Zip 100 drive working on Kubuntu 26.04 and Windows 11, which makes me happy, along with my M-Audio Ozonic through my Firewire card. I’ve been cleaning up my home on my therapist’s requests, so that’s good! Trying to take daily walks around some local parks. Friends want to play Magic the Gathering Commander, so I got some cards for that. Possibly going to a D&D Meetup group this Saturday! Things are already much better. Thanks all for listening last week.

No, you didn’t sound like you were trying to tell me how to live my life at all (I appreciate the reply!)! But you’re definitely right, my therapist suggested I look on Meetup for things to get me out of my house. I’ve been trying to drive to surrounding towns to get less nervous about leaving home too (I work from home, which is great, but it has given me some very bad habits about staying inside). Thank you for replying, and I will be sure to keep everyone informed!

Hello everyone! I know I signed up about a year ago, but I finally worked up the courage to post. My life’s been… pretty rough for the past year or so. No major reason why, just my mental health being weird. Kind of old, getting older, never really figured myself out, living paycheck to paycheck in a town I don’t really like, isolated most of the time. I don’t want to sound like I’m whining, so sorry if I do. It’s just all sort of come to a head recently, and I’m trying to figure out if it’ll ever really get what I want out of life. I still have some hope that things can improve, at least, even if it’s slight.