Shite. I have to go to London. No one should go to London.
Kinda mixed right now. Got a 3-day ban from the devious reddit automatons so now I’m here.
We’re hanging in there. Wife’s been unemployed for 4+ months and we’re starting to feel it. Not sure what else to do, she’s interviewing and applying and has some agencies helping (she’s management level so it’s a little tricky). Otherwise trying to read more and doom scroll less.
Wishing you and yours the very best moving forward.
Strange… It’s been good so far, generally. Going to a friend’s lake house next weekend. Looking forward to that! Also, finally made a Meetup account and my plans for getting my modern anemometer/windvane to ESP32 to ESP32 to Heathkit ID-4001 setup sketched out a bit more. With the CPU upgrade board, it might even have a serial output, and I could theoretically have my computer read it. That would be awesome!
Then, I had my oldest “friend” contact me out of the blue on Discord and then he called me. I got hit with a tirade of insane anti-Semitic nonsense. At some point, the fact that I’m going to try and transition MtF slipped out and he got really “worried” about me. He said these things “never end well” and that “you always hear about these things online, but it’s really scary when it happens to someone you know” and that he was worried about that when he saw my Discord pfp (my character, female). I’m pretty meek/timid, but I did tell him firmly that “I don’t want to talk about this with you”, and he responded with “It’s OK, we don’t have to talk about this right now”. Right now. Like we will have to eventually. Then a bunch of stuff about how he doesn’t want me to be a “blood sacrifice to Moloch” and that “we’re the lowest-T generation, and bombarded with all sorts of media” stuff like that. Freaky nonsense.
It’s… really upsetting. I’ve known this guy for decades. I just feel… betrayed. Scared. I threw up after the call. He wants to call again and even hang out. I definitely don’t want to. I shouldn’t have told him about my plans to transition. I don’t know why I did. I’ve told my brother, my closest (actually good, ally) friend, but not even my parents yet. So I have no idea how I let it slip to this crazy old friend. That happened about an hour ago. Still pretty shaken up about it.
I’m proud of you. You’ve told however many people read this comment. Do you think that maybe you told that “friend” that because you wouldn’t miss them as a friend? Are you scared to talk your parents because you would miss them?
Well thank you very much! That means a lot to me and it’s really nice to just have people listen! I’ve been thinking about it, honestly he hasn’t been a ‘friend’ in a while. I think I’m just tired of not actually being happy being myself, so in a way, if I could tell this guy about it I can tell anyone. It was more subconscious, I think… And my parents, I think they’d actually be understanding! They’re good and accepting people. It’s more that I don’t really exactly know how to, and I think to them it would be a big surprise, even if I’ve felt this way for a long time (only recently really come to understand it as the truth). I am old-ish, and in a way I’m a little concerned that since I never explicitly showed any outwards interest/need in transitioning prior that they might think that I’m doing something strange? Not really sure how to word it, sorry.
I get, to the degree that I can get, what you’re saying.
I had a friend that I knew all through college, she started her transition probably 6 months before posting on facebook with about a paragraph explaining the pertinent stuff, but what has always stuck out to me was that she wrote something to the extent of “I am, and always have been a woman” or something to that degree. She then proceeded to post pictures of herself and she looked the happiest she ever has looked before. The whole time I’d known her, I never would have guessed.
If you think your parents will be supportive in general, then they will want you to be haply.
“I have known this for a while now. I am, and always have been a woman. I am happy, I am safe, I am content. Please support me by calling me ____”
I told my parents today. I don’t know if it was a good idea. Not entirely. I think they’re both accepting. My dad was basically just like ‘lol OK how are your projects going’. My mom was… well not unaccepting. But just… she was surprised. I’ve always been cagey about my personal life with my parents. I told my brother and other friends this weekend. My dad today. Then I told my mom, I felt bad she was the last person to know. She was the weirdest about it, but she had no idea. I basically blindsided her. I don’t like this.
Dude. I’m so proud of you.
I told my dad, “love you” as I was hanging up tbs phone today. It felt weird.
Did you feel supported by your dad? It sounds like your old man was telling you it’s no trouble to him, maybe neglecting to consider how big a deal it is for you to come out and say it. It sounds like absolute love.
Momma’s gonna come around too. She’s probably most worried about the hate in the world - mama bears are wild.
I’m seriously so proud of you though.
You are far too kind A_be_seedy. My dad was the most supportive person in the world. One moment, it was ‘Oh that’s cool, I always tell my friends I have two sons, but I’ll tell them otherwise now nbd’. It’s… weird. I’ve always felt closer to my mom. But in that moment, my dad and I were on the same wavelength. One moment, talking about my trans identity, the next talking about the Heathkit computer like it was nothing. It really sounds like you get it. Genuinely. I appreciate it and ypur praise means the world.
My mom is, despite how I’ve always viewed her, a ‘mama bear’ for sure. I’m 36, I’ll admit that. Seems odd at this age. But I guess it never stops being a thing. She said she’d call tomorrow. I offered to answer any questions she had, and I happily will. Still feels weird, almost wrong, but your praise, the support of my friends, my brother, and my father… it’s almost overwhelming. Hopefully tomorrow I can smooth things out with her. She deserves it, and I hope I can calm her fears.
Here is the computer, by the way. Hope everything uploads OK. All digits working. CPU and display board stock and working. Going to trace the two mystery red/black wires with my VOM tomorrow. Assuming they’re a redundant back up to the power supply which will truly be made redundant with the CPU upgrade I have planned.
Thank you for coming back here and sharing all of this. Please keep going…I’m cheering for you!
I will! Thank you for the encouragement, and I am just glad I have a place to talk about all this!
