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“Yes, hi, I’m not a leopard, I’m from the coalition of pumas, and what we would like to know is, since you have such a surplus of faces so that you can’t possibly even eat them all, would it be possible for us to have some?”
I’m sure we can arrange to have some of them brought up here for a “recreational getaway” - I’m sure you’ll find them fun to gnaw upon.
Canadian cougars politely ask how you would like to be mauled.
Canadian cougars
Where? 😍
Within 1.6 km of [your location].
>Danger Kitty
>friend shaped
It would be the most divine few seconds burrowing your face in that fluffy belly before you died.
If you’re cold, they’re cold. Bring them inside.
Honestly, how can they expect you not to hug it. Just look at the ears!
You pet the ears; my face is 100% buried in that fluffy tum before I’m mauled.
That tummy is soo flufiy.
He just needs cheek scritches
Cat.
Cop 1: “This cat don’t even wear shades”
Cop 2: “this cat thinks they too cool for justice. In these mean streets!”
Cat: hey guys, hey everyone, uh, it’s true that I ate all the puppies on this mountain. You can get my new single on the streaming things.
