Somebody set fire to a wall mounted bin with a firework inside it.
The deputy head went to put the fire out, the firework went of almost blowing his face off, allegedly, I didn’t see it as I was already in detention for an unrelated incident.
The deputy head storms straight into where I’m sat on my tod for detention and asks what do I think I’m playing at almost killing him.
The headmaster gets called in and everyone’s grilling me to confess for setting the bin on fire while I was in detention the whole time!

Similar to this I would imagine

If England was playing Israel at football, who woukd you (A Scot) support?

It really seems like they don’t want us owning anything anymore.
First it was the software, it because license agreements.
Now it’s becoming too expensive to own hardware and we’ll have to rent it from them.

Isn’t it short for narcotics?

I disagree. I recently had to cover a dayshift and I hated it! Never again, I will quit my job before they make me work dayshift.

Is this the pain that feels like a knitting needle getting rammed into your chest and only lasts for like 2 seconds but it’s two second you think “Shit! I’ve been stabbed” and everyone around looks at you because you’ve Just reacted like you’ve been stabbed.

I think they’re talking about books you’ve read in the library and decided not to check out, not books you’ve already checked out, taken home and are now brining back.

Slice and dice

I would hate to know how many hours I’ve spent on this game. It’s disgustingly addictive. I love it.

I would assume it’s the child’s age, they don’t want to broadcast personal details of their child on the Internet so they refer to them by their age so the context of the story still makes sense.
If they just called them as Son or daughter and told the rest of that story I would assume their still living at home in the parents basement 27 year old was just a dickhead.

You just have to set the bar lower. Did somebody not wish you a lovely day as you pass them in the corridor?
Time to break into their house while they’re away and wire up an air horn their toilet lid.

Skate park.
We had one when I was young but it got demolished to build a supermarket. It was devastating.

“It is what it is” when describing a bad situation.
No, that’s defeatist as hell, it will be whatever it will be when I’ve given it everything I can to make it better.

The OP picture is actually on the page you listed.

We do that. My friend and i have worked together across many jobs and industries over the last 20 years.
We recently TUPE’d from one company to another and we were worried we’d get split up as you never have two fully qualified people in our position in one team but we recieved an email from the new company saying they had recieved word from our previous employer that under no circumstances were we to be split up as we work as a team and get more work done than any 3 other teams.

I have different Owen Wilson 'wow’s for each of my most regular contacts message notifications.
For my ringtone it’s the metal gear solid codec call.

I listen to audiobooks to get to sleep and use musiCozy headphone bands, cheap and comfy.

Everyone is focusing on the radiation. But if you used depleted uranium is wat denser than iron so horse shoes made or uranium would last a lot longer but also be way heavier.

I have Jimothy written on my boiler suit.

That’s the one, and the humans making plans were called wallfacers.
Sorry I wasn’t sober when writing that comment last night.