Think about what New York would be like without him. Racist scum. If anyone was ever a good candidate for assassination it would be him.

I-10 in New Orleans

Absolutely do not take prescription painkillers recreationally. Just don’t. You might think you have self control but that shit can very quickly and easily take over your life.

If you are not rich the money will eventually run out and you will have to turn to street drugs. Then things get really bad and really dangerous. I have seen this first hand many times. Just don’t do it.

There are too many great drugs out there to risk fucking around with opioids.

How do you survive hitting a moose? I feel like that’s equivalent to hitting a brick wall.

AFI does Earth AD

I would assume. That’s where I am.

Yes apparently

My city sits on a filled in swamp.

Blues Brothers. For a musical comedy that movie starts slooow.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.

–Stephen Wright

The same might be true of Buddy Holly. The Crickets had only released a handful of singles and already fallen off the charts before Holly died. If it wasn’t for the massive amount of material they recorded that could be released posthumously they might have just been a footnote.

Bill Murray is God who is so fucking over it and just wants to hand this shit off to his son.

Jason Schwartzman is Satan trying so hard to get everybody to like him even though he sucks.

Are we talking standard poodle or toy poodle? Because both are funny in their own way.

I’m guessing your current mood is “really fucking high.”

Who cuts a pizza into only four slices?

They do.

From their website:

The Waffle House employees receive health insurance, dental insurance, vision insurance, and life insurance.

Even if they did, humans are way too big for them to bother with. They are lazy as fuck. Food practically has to fall into their mouths.

Alligators generally aren’t all that dangerous. They are not aggressive at all, especially not toward humans. But they fucking will be if they know you have food and then you’re fucked.

My preferred spot is also called Sal’s but it’s in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. It has an autographed picture of David Berkowitz hanging up. I bet there are a fuckload of spots called Sal’s in New York.

You are correct. You can find New York style pizza just about anywhere these days but the bar for quality is higher there with so much competition.