But what about shareholders?

Police? I would like to report a murder. Yes, I’ll hold.

Just one is all you need, really

Only on the fourth ejaculation, which implies the person can fully pass as a native English speaker, but if they get too excited (or drunk) the Spanish slips in.

UPDATE: so the found amount was $160. we ended up making a vague poster saying “valuable found in area. Send description to email below”. We waited a few days and got an email from a guy saying they lost $40 in the area. We waited a few more days and then the kids offered to give $40 from their find to the random guy as a good deed and we agreed they could keep the rest.

UPDATE TO UPDATE: I coordinated to meet with the guy (I didn’t want the kids meeting with a random guy), but the guy didn’t show up, so I gave the kids their $40 too

You’re supposed to stay in your seat during take off and landing. Please, remain in your seat. Why do you keep getting out of your seat and silently scream at the babies?!

Very common in the Middle East.

Big if true

Have you ever walked out of a mall into a huge parking area and realized you’d forgotten where you parked your car?

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Damn, there is still one god active. Whatever you do, don’t

I blame him for breaking up the Beatles, too!

This is a lot to unpack.

Pro-tip: three or more cats are called a clowder. the more you know

Old phones stay hydrated.

I AM A SURGEON DOCTOR HAN.

Old enough to get a fucking job

Mr. Simms: Do you have any experience?

Robbie: No, sir, I have no experience but I’m a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I’d like to put more in that jar. That’s where you come in.

I am in this meme and I don’t like it.

Being Canadian is, like, a state of mind, eh. Welcome

Greetings shitlords, fellow Canadians.