I wanted to be a pilot. As a kid I was obsessed with flight simulators and tried to learn as much about aviation on my own in a time before internet access was ubiquitous. In high school I read up on the requirements to get into flight school and tried my best to prepare.

Then my parents bought me a guitar, and I did not become a pilot.

Someone knew exactly what they were doing.

I thought this was about how the guy had his shirt tucked in.

Ah, the ol’ clam slam.

How many cats go in the cat bed is for the cats to decide.

Don’t count your eggs in one basket before there’s plenty of fish spoiling the piece of cake.

Famous: Man it’s hard to pick out a single favorite because there are so many I love, but if I’m being asked to pick one, I’d go with Knights of Cydonia by Muse. Sometimes I use it as a warm-up song when I’m practicing.

Least famous: Nouela Johnston had a group years ago called People Eating People. They have one album, and on it is a slow, bluesy song called Let’s Rage. I’m not sure why I love this song so much but I just do. I’d like to do a cover of it some day.

You can also negotiate directly with your medical provider. Ask if they have Financial Assistance programs you can apply for. Nonprofit hospitals in the US are required by law to have these programs and provide you with information when requested, and it frequently results in having your medical debt reduced or forgiven.

Yes I’m replying to my own post.

Meet Darla:

Darla is part of a cluster of deer that live in the neighborhood. They’ve been a part of the neighborhood for as long as I can remember and my house is one of their safe zones. Once in a while I’ll have some spare blueberries I can give them so they don’t go to waste, and that’s what Darla uses me for.

She absolutely hates my cat though. 😔

With Fahrenheit, there are 180 units of degree measurement between the freezing and boiling point of water. With Celsius, there are only 100. For me this makes Fahrenheit preferable, as its units are smaller and allow for finer temperature measurement and adjustment.

Edit: MY LOYALTY REMAINS UNSHAKEN!

Sign. Me. The. Fuck. Up.

And then what? You get your balls through, you’re all engorged and now you’re stuck, your aroused loins filled with blood and you with panic and regret as the hole becomes a massive load-bearing cockring. PLAN AHEAD PEOPLE!

Evil Nietzsche be like “Why can’t you be more like those good Christian people?”

Imagine stepping into a shower and rubbing yourself down with a chocolate lobster.

You probably won’t think it’s chocolate at first.

This reminds me of a friend of mine whose hatred of olives was legendary. Like he didn’t just dislike them. We’re talking about a seething, unrelenting loathing. This was a man who wished violence and suffering on olives.

Now, his neighbor would traditionally gift his family homemade chocolates during the holidays. And one year (you already know where this is going don’t you?), his teenage children conspired with the neighbor to gift him with, yup, chocolate covered olives.

He didn’t speak to his neighbor for six years after that.

I grew up in a “pop” part of the country. Then moved to a “soda” part of the country for a while and not only did I change my word usage, but I decided I liked “soda” better because it was a more accurate description of the beverage.

I have since moved back to my old “pop” area and I still use “soda” and I get weird looks. One of my friends even called me a traitor.

A bartender or barista. Just the thought of having to know how to instantly make an untold number of drinks, with infinite variations and customizations, and get it fucking perfect every single time fills me with dread.

If you do a job like that, please know that I consider you a wizard.