¿Qué?

Every single time I get naked.

It’s a chore.

Dry rape? Bro it’s a torture thing today

But don’t you know condoms burst at the sight of my shlong? It has nothing to do with the fact that the sight of naked me dries up a pussy quicker than a fucking hairdryer.

that’s what she said

Sometimes my car decides to play some radio before connecting to my phone. It’s an unfortunate side-effect of owning a not-too-nice car.

Radio DJs are little more than advertising agents nowadays. Or worse, wannabe entertainers.

Making car-pedestrian collisions safe is a ridiculous idea failed to doom from the start. Cars are big and hard, people are small and squishy.

I think the key is to prevent cars and people from coexisting as much as possible.

Or horny.

Emulators are what I miss from android. GBA has one of the best libraries of any console, plus there’s the custom rom scene. And I have this absurdly powerful phone that can’t run any of it.

Domains were seized.

They are probably right, unfortunately.

I wouldn’t buy an automatic bike, coz I ride bikes for fun.

The daily get-to-work shitbox? I don’t want to babysit the gearbox, just do your thing while I chill to some tunes.

Sponges?

Yeah I’ll do the washing myself, thank you very much.

Hi. Friendly reminder to keep personal activity out of work devices.

Until we meet again!

Yes, let’s never hold political power accountable for not looking out for our interests. We’ll win the climate back by deflating the tyres on trophy housewives’s cars. Yeah that’ll do it, let’s not think of the tow truck they’ll call or the waste tyres that’ll go to landfill.

Seriously the whole “deflate tyres” thing is so acephalous that I’m starting to believe they’re being paid to make climate activists look like idiots.

Yeah it’s insane how much time I spent reading about ethics and shit, and then have “don’t be a dick” be one of main driving factors in my decision making.

You know what? It works just fine.

Even then, you have pretty much no way of knowing if there’s an iris. So it’s all fun and games until SLAM, all your atoms gets squished into metal.

I’d settle for hiding photos in albums from recents, as that would tell me what I need to organise and don’t.

Could even flip them horizontally for extra spiciness.

Corporate doublespeak is great, isn’t it?