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Cake day: April 10th, 2026

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  • Imagine there is a safe in your house. You ask your butler to update your documents that are inside the safe, but you forgot that the butler doesn’t have the key. Instead of asking you for the key, the butler builds a dollhouse, puts a tiny safe inside the dollhouse, and then does some magic to bind the fates of the dollhouse safe and the real safe together. The butler then opens the dollhouse safe using the dollhouse key, and updates the tiny dollhouse documents, which causes the real documents in the real safe to update as well. This causes you great consternation.











  • We could ban advertising and attractive packaging. We could provide non-carcinogenic alternatives like nicotine gum or snus made with synthetic nicotine so no profits go to Philip Morris. We could heavily fine people who smoke around children and other non-smokers. We have all of these regulatory scalpels at our disposable but for some reason we’re always reaching for the nuclear option of prohibition. When will we learn?