• 2 Posts
  • 49 Comments
Joined 3 years ago
cake
Cake day: June 21st, 2023

help-circle




  • His highness’s dignity permeated the room. Children gawked, men bowed, and women swooned. A certain radiance seemed to eminate from the feline king. That is, until he spoke: “gweetings my subjects! I am yo lod and wuler! May my beneficence wain down upon you.”

    In that instant, the spell was broken. Awe was replaced by a communal urge to chant “pss,pss,pss” and to try to rub the erstwhile monarch.






  • If I go to Starbucks and order a medium anything and am “corrected” by the cashier that it’s a “grande” I will stare at the offender until they feel uncomfortable.

    If I go to Coldstone Creamery and order a medium anything and they aggressively say “oh, you want a ‘love it’,” I will tell them no, I want a fucking medium. You don’t get to tell me how much I might or might not like it in advance.

    Also I hate when Dairy Queen insists that you watch them flip the fucking Blizzard upsidedown. I don’t want your meager marketing trick. I want the bad ice cream with candy in it.








  • My first job was at a theatre. The black jeans they had us buy to work there never lost the smell of popcorn butter. I kept them for a few years thinking they’d lose the smell after enough washings, but no.

    I know that coke/popcorn/garbage mix smell, and how stupidly heavy a full trash bag gets when there’s too many full sodas in it.

    I don’t eat popcorn often, but I remember we got it for free as employees in a small-sized cup. A few of us would make popcorn “parfaits” that consisted of popcorn, butter, and intentionally too much salt for several layers.

    That and the slightly over-syruped coke we’d also get for free worked oddly well together.

    I assume that this will ultimately be the cause of a massive heart attack, but the free snack smell-memory outpaces the garbage memory for me.