That’s the best thing I’ve ever seen!

Offer potato

I’VE ONLY PLAYED THE FIRST. I’VE BEEN MEANING TO PLAY THE SECOND.

I SAID NO LOLLYGAGGIN

WHAT GAME IS THIS FROM? THIS IS AN AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS QUOTE AND I WOULD LIKE TO PLAY THE GAME!

Happy birthday!

I will now!

I was about to comment something along the lines of “You add water and drink it, dumbass” but then I realized that it does not, in fact, say metamucil. I’m the dumbass.

Any time I can’t pet the dog.

We should give death row inmates a choice: capital punishment, or be used in place of animals for product testing.

Mood.

My parents would preach something fierce about the dangers of even interacting with strangers online (even just having a generic “how are you” back and forth). In my 20s, I started playing Tibia and really enjoyed the fact that I could interact with people from around the world. I learned plenty of things that I simply didn’t learn in school. When my folks learned I was talking to people I didn’t know, they were appalled. I hate to think how they would have reacted to the knowledge that I shared my first name with some of those people (it’s a veeeeery common name where I’m from).

Then my mom got a Twitter account. Then joined group DMs with like-minded people. Then she started giving out her first name, then her cell number. Then she shared our address. I’m still salty. Luckily nothing bad has ever come of it. The group seems like they’re wonderful people and my mom is able to turn to them when she’s not feeling the best and vice versa.

I took an introduction to nursing class in high school where we had to know the names of all the bones, the chambers of the heart, CPR, etc. During one particular topic, one of the students kinda snapped and exclaimed “I’m too stupid for this!” The teacher, a badass ER nurse who was a single mom, rode a Harley, and had seen everything from electrocuted flesh to years-old bed sores, simply said “Good. That means you’re learning.”

I work with special needs kids, and whenever they complain about feeling stupid, I pass along that wisdom, but in a bit nicer way: “You’re not stupid, you’re just learning.”

Highly recommend the Piano Guys. They mix classical music with modern hits.

I’ve never understood this. What’re they gonna do? Vote to make crimes legal?

Well, years ago Hidden Valley set up a hunt a la Willy Wonka style, but with only one golden ticket in one bottle of ranch, only sold to people living in Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan, Indiana, Ohio, the Dakotas, and participating stores in Nebraska and Missouri. The person who finds and comes forward with the golden ticket gets to learn the location of the Hidden Valley. We’re always in a scramble to increase our own chances of finding that ticket, so we have to use it on everything we can get our hands on. Some say it was all a trick by the company, but the true believers like myself know it’s out there waiting for it’s winner.

I think the first my sister and I played was A Link to the Past. We didn’t know what we were doing, and we didn’t know why the princess and the green guy had the same name… We really got into the series when we watched our dad play Ocarina of Time. Detailed graphics, 3D, a day-night cycle, horse back riding… That game had it ALL.

My dad wears this when he mows the lawn because he’s had a few melanoma spots removed. So… cancer I guess.

Their loss.