For me having an official diagnosis first gave me words to research what was wrong with me since I had no clue.

Second, after thorough research it made me give myself permission to work with me and not against me - I wasn’t lazy or anything, I just genuinely was disabled. Having a diagnosis was my shield when someone called me that, and it was so fucking necessary as a late-diagnosef woman. Especially when it came to family to get them off my back.

In my case no medication, but the internal permission to cut myself some slack and figure out in what weird ways my brain works.

Edit: that was supposed to be a reply to someone - it’s been a long day 😅 @Agent641@lemmy.world

Seven in German handwriting has an additional line.

Can you control the time when a calendar notif hits? Could changing that time help?

Except some agents go against explicit instructions and delete the prod database. You know your argument doesn’t hold, we’ve all seen the news.

Sticks may be something that he has been hit with before - or maybe it’s the position above his head of something that scares him. You never know what a former stray experienced.

In my experience toy type matters a lot too. My current cat goes crazy over feathers at a rope that you can whirl around with a stick - I guess the sound the feathers make trigger her hunting instincts? Our other cat gets scared of that but hes always been sensitive to noise.

He loves those little snakes that are attached to sticks with a rope though. Leaves the feather cat completely cold. Catnip was meh for ours, but both lost their shit with Valerian, totally drugged up for five minutes (then the effect wears off and the cats won’t feel the same even with fresh scent). Where I live it gets used to help people sleep so we buy a whole bunch at a pharmacy, fill it into an airtight container (that shit stinks, it could make me vomit) and marinate cloth toys in their that we give them every now and then.

At the end of the day, all cats are different and trial and error is best. Also, if you found a cheap toy that works, stock up - often it’s not easy to get replacements once they break.

Wait you wouldn’t take your cat? After a week of you rarely being available you consider not being home at all for two days and a night?

I would strongly recommend against that. I’m worried that this may cause behavioral issues with the cat getting bored, depressed, feeling caged…

Possible consequences could be urinating outside the litterbox, willfully scratching your furniture/walls and more.

I’m not sure if with your work and travel habits a pet would be a good choice. Maybe one that doesn’t need social interaction?

I would advise against. A house is not a good place for a cat to be alone, and 40h per week is a lot. We have an old cat (17) and my roommate is at home all day and our cat still is super needy for attention.

There may be more aloof cats, but from my experience with cats they are most likely the exception and your cat would likely be understimulated.

Also, most cats do not handle traveling well. It is possible to train them but that works best when they are young and young cats should never be alone in a house for 40h/ week. My mom has taken in cats from an animal rescue organization where the owner was out for long hours too and she got depressed and overate so badly she had lifelong issues, even when she was with my mom and lost weight again. She also was incredibly anxious about my mom leaving her and would get stressed out if she had to be alone.

Despite what you may hear, cats are social animals and need interaction. If you are away from home 40h/week (and that’s not counting going to work), it’s better to get a bonded pair so they can play and interact. In rare cases you may find an old grumpy cat that will be fine - but you will probably never have a close bond with that kind of cat, and often they are used to going outside.

If you do, good on you! Most men don’t.

The thing is, if men don’t change, it will annoy you. But for women it may very well kill them. You’re seeing the problem and understanding it, yet you blame women for trying to survive.

They don’t say “All men are predators” because they want to be petty and pay men back for how they talk about women. They live by this because anything else puts them in harms way. I’m pretty sure most women would love to not have to live by that saying. Most women would love to be safe enough to abandon this. But they aren’t.

And here you are, yelling at them for trying to survive and keep themselves and each other save, because it bothers you that you get associated with bad men.

I don’t know, I feel like survival might be more important than someone feeling judged wrongly (even if the judgement truly is wrong).

If men want women to stop having to say “All men are predators”, they need to remove the survival need behind that line.

All these lines have a reason behind it, and as long as “All women are whores” gets shrugged off as locker room talk, or excused as he had a bad relationship experience, this aggressive mindset often leads to women trying to leave a relationship they’re unhappy in getting harmed or killed.

If men want women to not see them all as predators they need to keep their bros in check. As well as end the toxic macho culture that regard women as owing men sex when men are nice to them or as their possession once they’re in a relationship.

If a country elects someone who says “Grab them by the pussy” and there are men - “good” men - that meme this, that’s not ok. Yet it happened and it’s no wonder women feel threatened underneath a government like this.

It’s not in the women’s power to stop this. Good men need to finally start fighting the bad apples if they don’t want to be mistrusted as a survival strategy.

Most men I talked to are more upset about being lumped in with the bad apples, when in reality you should be upset how your mothers, sisters, girlfriends, daughters are constantly living in fear and can’t move through any space in life without preemptive measures.

The same does not hold true around men.

The longer a woman lives, the more men she comes in contact with, and the statistical likelihood of meeting a dangerous man goes up.

You say “all men are predators” is discriminatory, but for a lot of women it is the only way to drive the point home to their daughters, who may hear “you have to be careful around strangers” and then let their guard down when a predator plays the long game.

Also, children are often sexually abused by family members or friends. So careful around strangers is not sufficient.

Does it suck to hear “All men are predators” if you’re a good one? Sure. But at the same time, people have no issues claiming all brown guys are terrorists or illegals. Or women are gold diggers. Or whores.

Humans always generalize. It’s just (white) men having been on top of the food chain in the modern society for so long that they feel things are being taken away from them when other groups demand true fairness and equal treatment.

The cat violently displaced the Panda.

I mean that’s a black hat hacking forum. That alone would make me question what they were doing with their domains x)

What you don’t get is you can’t take away the version history of a given program and expect it to just work without constantly explaining things. There’s a reason there’s not windows 9 - because too many people wrote compatibility checks checking if the version started with “Windows 9” to distinguish 95 and 98 from the NT line back in the day and having an actual Windows 9 could have broken things.

Granted, Windows 2 is much older and it would be unlikely, but why do you insist of risking something at all when there are better ways?

You could have just said, oh, if there already was a version 2, let’s just call it “Windows Gen2” instead of getting belligerent.

Similar here, except I suggested a course and they accepted and paid for it (Software Testing). The programming is what I enjoy and want to pursue.

For me the commitment part was the issue. I’m still working on figuring out how to trick my brain into cooperating with commitments. Having a team that was looking forward to my suggestions and ready to rely on it ended up being the one thing that worked. But this is obviously not easily replicable.

I tried that several times but it never worked out for various reasons. For me I really started growing once I was working and had a team that was happy I wanted to learn more and answer my questions.

I’m like that and one of my friends as well. We’re both not diagnosed but strongly suspecting AD(H)D, and I’m also diagnosed with autism.

I can’t count the times I started trying to learn programming and ended up quitting for that very reason - but every time I did I knew a little bit more. So I just tried to learn my way and next time I wouldn’t need to look up asuch and got a little farther. But I also have the luck of having programmer friends who don’t mind trying to answer my sometimes very unusual questions, and over the several attempts I’ve learned enough to be able to work in test automation.

If you have patient and encouraging people around you you’ll eventually get there :) don’t go for ui at first, look for console programs so you can get to things like conditions and loops quickly. That’s where the meat is for me.

The thing alternates between showing the measured speed and a reaction to it - smiley if it’s acceptable, something else if it’s not. I don’t remember RN what the bad reaction is (I’m not a driver) but in a 30 zone a smiley at 42 is misconfigured.

There’s one thing in your post that I haven’t seen you mention yet it’s all over the place: depression.

I don’t know anything about you but this post, and I’m not a professional, but from very painful personal experience I’m almost sure you’re severely depressed, maybe even to the point where you need hospitalization.

Depression fucks with your head. It makes you not-do things you’re looking forward to and you don’t understand why. It makes you unable to see anything positive. You cannot get out of it without help after a certain point, and you cannot trust your own thoughts anymore.

These days, after years, I’m better. For me it’s never going completely away, but I recognize patterns, I know how to break the spiraling (and most importantly, no one shames me for how I’m doing it anymore) and I can say " this sounds like depression speaking, let me do something else and return to this thought tmr and see how I feel."

But it took years of therapy and several months of hospitalization. If you’re at the point where your outbreaks scare your family, maybe it’s time to look into that.

Another thing: depression in men is critically underdiagnosed, because most docs look for physical reasons if a man comes to them with symptoms of depression. If you haven’t been diagnosed yet, it may be that it didn’t occur to your doc, maybe because you’re masking well or because he’s just not used to seeing men with depression.

However you go on, I wish you all the best. I hope that you can find a way, with or without meds, to live in peace with your brain.

That smug face.