After reckoning with the unsustainability of keeping an airline financially afloat if jet fuel prices keep skyrocketing with no end in sight, today sources confirmed Alaska Airlines is preparing to pivot to dog sledding just in case the whole airline industry thing doesn’t work out.
“I’m actually quite fine with this—way better than guessing if there’s enough air traffic controllers on any amount of sleep availble to prevent me from crashing into someone,” said pilot Hank Tompkins before watching in horror as one of the Alaska Mushlines sleds somehow exploded in a ball of fire in the distance. “Goddamnit they’re still working with Boeing?”
Lordy, this is good.
Meanwhile, if Boing* made multipurpose, mid-bulk transports instead of ASC.
Capt: Define “interesting”.
Pilot: [deadpan] Oh God, oh God, we’re all going to die?
*yes, that’s how it’s pronounced now, after their clowncar bullshit.
