This is probably NSFW so… warning(?)
I was going to reserve dinner at a place for our 7th anniversary of our marriage. My phone ran out of battery, so she told me to use hers.
While I was using it she received a message saying “tomorrow again? 😏”. Curiosity killed me, I opened the message because, as far as I knew, she stayed home while I was working the day before.
To my surprise, the guy that texted her sent her a video of her on all fours with 2 men cuming on her. Needless to say, there was no 7th anniversary dinner. This was also years ago so I got over it.
I could have said “she cheated on me” and leave it at that but I feel like the whole story is spicier.
The lengths to which some people go to not communicate their desires to their significant other
Exactly. I’d have no problem if my wife wants to partake in a little extra-marital cum play. Just please, tell me.
That’s what I said to her… Hell, it would have been a blessing for me if she was doing things with other people sometimes.
I was feeling horrible for her because I have a terrible case of arthritis and I can’t do stuff like a normal person, sometimes I couldn’t even move for weeks or spend time at the hospital, so sex was almost impossible. We were doing it once every 4 months, maybe more.
The first thing I told her was “Look, if you’re gonna do something with someone else, at least let me know first, I can understand due to the conditions so there’s no problem if you really need it, just please tell me first”.
First thing she did was not tell me, and that is what messed me up, the stupid lie.
Something similar happened to me with my first wife … I read an email meant for her that was quite descriptive, not to mention x rated, and it left me pretty devastated. I was in a very dark place after that. But now, many years later, I’m very happily married to a partner who is perfect for me in every way. My advice to everyone who goes through this is hang in there, it hurts like hell but things will get better and one day you’ll look back and realize it was better you found out and got out when you did.
There were zero signs she was cheating?
I kind of thought she was a bit distant, but not cheating, but at that time I was dealing with a terrible case of arthritis at that time, so between going to the hospital and spending days, sometimes weeks in bed without being able to move I was not really thinking about it.
He got weirdly into this kind of toxic masculinity, misogynistic bullshit that I was not down with. It’s one thing to play with that consensually during sex, but I’m not okay with becoming a mini Andrew Tate clone
She got bored of me, cheated, gaslit me and made me feel like I was treading on egg shells for 12 months and then we split up.
She’d have had permission if she had asked.
I took her for granted and probably got too comfortable in our domestic life. She had a new work friend who had nothing better to do than talk to her all day about how she would be a better partner than me.
I just don’t think straight relationships are for me.
Girlfriend for four years had been cheating on me for at least seven months. We were a modern family with one kid each. Found out Sunday evening when I caught her texting. The worst is the kids when they will know they won’t be together again. And her family, very good people. She’s dead to me.
I am childfree, she wasn’t. 100% not going to work, but we ended on good terms all things ocnsidered.
~19 years of marriage ended late last year due to mental health issues + NPD. I’m still trying to get over it, but it’s tough; she just won’t leave me alone.
He said it was his mental health, and he could have no desires or feelings for someone. He said I was amazing and that he’d never met anyone remotely like me.
However he’s now told me he’s seeing someone, so I think he’s full of shit.
He had a lot of mental health issues that he just wouldn’t get help with.
He ended up being upset a lot because I didn’t “react the way [he] wanted me to”. In the end, I really did care about him a lot, but his clinginess and codependency on me was far too much for me to handle. He made it clear that he was unhappy, but also depended on me to make him happy. I tried very hard, but it was never good enough. Did my best to encourage and support him, but he just couldn’t do right for himself.
He really was such a beautiful person, but loving someone is often not enough.
I really do hope that he is doing well now, wherever he is.
My ex was a Catholic and wanted children.
I’m an atheist and I’m childfree.
Curiously, I think kids had more weight in her decision to end it.
Her being a narcissist.
Probably my mental health issues, but I honestly can’t really be too sure
Also, she ended up moving away and that was another big part of it. These two together just totally killed it. Of course there were other little things but I attribute most of the reason to the aforementioned problems.
I want to be back in a stable state and doing better with myself, but I feel like I’ve already screwed up every chance I’ve had at this point. There’s no way she’d take me back but it is what it is, I guess. She’s really great and being with her made me feel something again.
He didn’t want to be with someone clingy but framed it as codependency, when in reality I was going through an anxious attachment phase because I didn’t want to fuck it up. My incessant worrying was to blame but his lack of empathy made it worse. In the end I think I dodged a bullet because he was a functional alcoholic.
The number one thing I’ve heard from avoidant people is that perfectly human emotions, albeit perhaps unfitting for the situation, are “clingy” or “too much.” They don’t know how to ask for things like space and own their own needs. It’s much easier to instead blame their inner turmoil and resistance on the relationship by singling out that one thing they think is wrong with it. That way they don’t have to be vulnerable and admit they’re imperfect too. I’m sure you might know all of this anyway, but just a reminder that it’s okay and healthy to be a lil clingy and worried. Not your fault.
Thank you! Those are some very kind and validating words. 🙏
She wanted kids, I didn’t.
We’re still best friends tho, since we do not resent each other for our own choices.
